Friday, October 17, 2008

Mysterious ways, right?

After my cruddy day at work yesterday, I was not really looking forward to the meeting I had committed to attending at church last night. We have a program, in partnership with another local congregation, called LoveWorks that aims to support and nourish children of incarcerated parents. The main function of the program is that people can volunteer to mentor a child with one or both parents in prison through Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS). When I found out about it, I knew that this was the perfect opportunity for me to serve my church and my community.

I got my application in to BBBS just this week and the woman from church who organizes it asked me if I'd like to come to a mentors meeting last night to learn more about what they do. It was a wonderful meeting. Both heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time. Everybody went around and gave an update of how their 'Little' is doing. Most of the mentors have been doing it since the program started, so they have had the same Little for the past five or six years- seeing and talking to these now high school teenagers at least three times a month since they were just in elementary school. Some of the kids are blossoming and thriving. Then there were others who are struggling - family is having financial problems, getting involved in gang activity, clinical depression - so we discussed how their Big could help them through whatever they are dealing with, what resources there are, etc.

I had no idea how involved you really get in these kid's lives by taking on the responsibility. You get to know their friends and family. Some people go to the school when there is a removal hearing to suspend the child, call the guidance counselor to talk about what the kid needs to do to graduate on time, attend choir concerts alongside the parents or grandparents to show love and support. It is a much heavier responsibility than I was imagining and there are many more challenges.

Frankly, I was a little scared. Would I know what to do if my Little told me she was going to join a gang? What if he was suicidal? Can I be of comfort and help if her mother is getting beat up by her boyfriend? What would I say to him if his father were executed? These are all things that the people in that room have had to face with the child they are mentoring. Luckily, there is a lot of support from the LoveWorks community. There are training seminars; all of the mentors support and help each other; there is an advisory board that volunteers can go to with questions about school issues, emotional issues, etc.

I know that it will be a challenging learning experience, but I think the reward will be huge! I cannot wait to actually get my match and begin to get to know a special little girl or boy.

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As I was driving home from meeting last night, I was thinking to myself how nice it would be to get home and curl up in my warm bed and read for a bit before going to sleep. Then I thought of something I wanted to remember to look up online first when I got home. Of course, I quickly remembered I no longer have a computer at home and it suddenly hit me:

I have been thinking recently about my computer habits. I spend eight hours a day on the computer at work and then come home and can still entertain myself for a long time with the vastness of the Internet. I definitely take advantage of it for mindless entertainment and time passing. There are lots of other things I like to do in my free time - read books, talk to actual people in real life, take my dog to the park or on walks, leave my apartment - but I'm lazy by nature so I easily succumb to the temptation of spending way too much time on the computer instead.

This is not quality time and when I die, I am not going to regret that I didn't see as many Lolcats as I could have. On the other hand, I often feel guilt or regret when I find myself surfing rather than doing something more meaningful. I was actually thinking last week that it would be very good for me to take a week-long fast from the computer at home. I have to use it at work and even have time during the work day to keep up with plenty of my personal stuff, so I really felt I should see what good it might do me to ban it at home for a bit. I was going to do it this week.

Of course by the time Sunday or Monday had rolled around, I had given myself some really good excuse (which I cannot even remember now) for why this was not a good week to do that. I think somebody else had a different idea in mind and took a really drastic approach to making me live up to my vow. God sure has a wicked sense of humor.

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