Slacker?

I have been just awful at posting on this blog lately, but life has been truly crazy! Between spending as much time with Johnathan as possible now that he is home, outings with my Little Sister, my new job - which has me much busier during the day - all of the daily sturm and drang of life and my new business venture, I rarely even have time to think about this blog, much less write a post proof-read it 5 times, post it, proof read it a couple more times, edit it because I'm just not satisfied, repost it and then sit and think about it it for another half hour...yes that is usually my process when I blog.

But what I want to talk about today is the new business venture mentioned above. Whatever loyal readers I have may remember my post back in December about doing a photo shoot for a coworker. Well, things have really been progressing since then and I am now officially Constance Elyse Photography! You can also check out my Facebook Fan Page here. I have not yet decided if I want to start including personal blogs over there or keep things separate and try to be more active over here.

For now, here is a picture of Alivia in the bluebonnets. They are moving back to Texas in July and I absolutely cannot wait to have them close again!

BFF Party at Birds

Free mini cupcakes
+
Open bar
+
Karaoke with Rebecca Havemeyer
+
Half-priced haircut
=
Good Time Had by All!

Victory

Today I was out of the house by 7 AM. From that point, I did the following:

• Got my oil changed
• Cleaned out the back of the car
• Dropped Keller off at the groomer's
• Donated blood
• Went to Half-Priced Books
  
• Got my car washed and the inside cleaned
• Met Ari for lunch, followed by window shopping and ogling rescue dogs up for adoption
• Had a latte and read my new used book at Starbucks
• Fell in love with a lens I can't afford at Precision
• Stopped by a new store and picked up an awesome Valentine's card for Johnathan and a couple of anytime cards for two other people
• Picked Keller up from the groomer
• Took Keller to the park, where she proceeded to roll around on an old possum skeleton (eeeeeew!) while I read
  
• Met with 'my dealer' to get some makeup

Today was a very successful day in my world! I haven't felt this accomplished in a quite a long time. I had to record it all in writing or I'd never believe it tomorrow.

My only regret is that it was a perfect day for taking pictures - overcast all day - and I neglected to grab my camera when I left the house. I could kick myself!

So much time and so little to do....

Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.*

I feel like there is so much I need to do before Johnathan moves back and my time to do it is really short. In nine and a half days I will be getting on an early morning flight to New York to spend several days with my mom, Erin and Alivia and to go skiing. I get back to Austin on Thursday night and then Johnathan will be home at 9:00 the next morning.

Johnathan hasn't ever seen my new apartment, my "new" car. He hasn't seen Keller in two years. I feel like everything needs to be up to a certain level of 'perfect' upon his return. So here is the current list of things I need to accomplish in less than 10 days:

• Clean my whole apartment from top to bottom
• Get an oil change
• Get my car washed
• Get Keller groomed
• Lose 30 lbs
• Dye my hair
• Get my hair cut
• Finish decorating my apartment
• Buy a whole new, cuter wardrobe
• Learn to play the guitar

Hmmm...I'm sure there are even more things I would like to have done, but I get the feeling I'm being slightly unrealistic.

*Bonus if you can name that movie.

Best Day Ever!

Yesterday was an awesome day! The best part being that we found out Johnathan is coming home! We have been enduring a long distance relationship for the past two years. Well, things have finally lined up the right way for him to move back home! I could not be happier. And he'll even be home pretty soon. Just two weeks and two days.

We've been praying for this for so long and it really doesn't seem real. The past two years have put a huge strain on our relationship and we have, at times, been within an inch of the breaking point. But God never let us forsake each other or His plan for us and it has made us such a happier, healthier couple for struggling through it. We'll appreciate every day - every moment - we get to spend together all the more, because there was a time when we just didn't have the option. We both know that there will be plenty of hard times ahead, as every relationship and every life involves struggle. But, He got us through this together and we both know that He'll do it every time.

I also got to meet my new 'Little Sister' yesterday. I can't talk too much about that (to protect her privacy), but she is a sweet, adorable little girl and I had an awesome time playing with her at a playground near her house. Next week we're going to go to the public library, where she has never been before, and hopefully get her her own library card.

Today I truly feel like I have all that I could wish!

My Favorite Thing This Christmas

There is just too much to write about in regards to my Christmas celebrations this year. Between Johnathan's family and the two sides of my family, the holiday lasted about five days. I loved getting to spend time with so many loved ones, but there were definitely some absences leaving a void as well.

If I had to pick my one favorite thing about Christmas this year, it would definitely be watching my niece, Alivia, really get into it for the first time in her life. At 14 months, she was able to unwrap her own presents (and try her best to open others' too), get excited over gifts and just look plain adorable. I took hundreds of pictures during all of the festivities, but here are just a few favorites photos of my favorite niece:

Mini Dream-Come-True

I remember the first camera I ever had. It was one of those long, thin rectangular ones and it was a bright neon yellow/green color. I got it for Christmas and took a bunch of pictures of my cousin's and uncles playing basketball, but only managed to shoot their feet. In high school, I was on the yearbook and newspaper staff as a photographer and I again got a camera for Christmas, only this time it was a 35mm SLR. Since everything went digital, I've had a couple of point and shoots, but I always longed for a digital SLR. Finally, around Easter, I decided to make the investment and I think it was one of the best things I could possibly have spent my money on.

I usually find myself shooting plants and animals, because there are not too many willing human subjects out there, but last weekend I got an opportunity that was really like a dream to me. A coworker mentioned to me that she was going to have some portraits done at JC Penny. When I heard that I believe I gasped (no offense to JC) and insisted that she let me do a photo shoot for her. She has a little boy who turns two-months tomorrow and her husband left yesterday for his second or third tour in Iraq, so it was very important to her to have photos before he left.

So on Sunday, they gave me the great honor of doing my first ever professional (though actually not, since I didn't want to be paid) photo shoot. I'm so thankful to her family for being my guinea pigs. I have a [not so] secret dream of building up a portfolio some day and maybe turning my hobby into a side job. Here are a few of the shots I took:

Not So Boring

As I spent Saturday night in a typical way - doing laundry and watching an old movie from Netflix - I was thinking about how boring my life is and how it doesn't make for very much to blog about. It's not really a complaint. No news is good news and all that. But I do wish I had more to write about on here. So I lamented my boring blog, finished my laundry and went to bed.

At 2:40 Sunday morning, Keller started barking and then I heard a knock at the door. I looked out the peephole and saw an unknown man in his late 20's to early 30's. I opened the door a crack, keeping most of my body (read: leverage) behind the door and peeking my head around to see what he wanted. He told me that some people had tried to jump him in the parking lot of my apartments and asked me to call the police. I told him I would and shut and locked the door to go get my phone. While I was calling he knocked again and asked for some water, so I went and got him bottle and gave it to him (shutting and locking the door behind me every time). Finally, when I had given all of the information I had to the dispatcher, I told him that they were on their way and just sat and waited.

A few minutes later I could hear the police outside and before long there was another knock at the door. This time it was the police. The officer asked me a few questions and then chastised me for opening the door, telling me that he did not believe the guy's story and did not think it was a coincidence that he happened to knock on the door of a single woman. My opinion is that if he had any intention of harming me he would have asked or made a move to get into my apartment and he would not have asked me to call the police, much less wait around for them to show up. But honestly, it wasn't until the officer told me that he was concerned for me that it even hit me that my safety could have been in question.

That got me emotional. I was not afraid at all. The whole thing was over and I never felt the least bit threatened. But I was still upset and I have to thank my mom for not freaking out when I called her crying at 3:00 AM about the cops and the strange man who came to my door. She didn't even get mad at me for being so "irresponsible." I have been accused in the past of being too trusting or naive. I know that these people are right, but for me, I have to live in a world where I trust in the basic goodness of people until they show me otherwise.

About a half hour later, the police knocked again and asked me some more questions: whether I'd been outside late that night, if my blinds had been open, etc. They said that the man did not know whether I had called them or not, which leads me to believe my suspicion that he had some mental problems. When all was said and done I was able to go back to sleep fairly easily, thanking God that I was safe and appreciating the boring times just a bit more.

Legacy

This is my paternal grandmother:

Her name is Margaret; I call her Grandma.

This is my paternal grandfather:

His name is Bill; I call him Bampa.

Yesterday was their 70th wedding anniversary. We had a party on Saturday to celebrate. Their three children, three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren were all there, along with one of Grandma's brothers and plenty of in-laws. The suit Bampa is wearing is the same one he wore on their wedding day. I'm so blessed to still have these two in my life. Their lasting love is an example that I pray to live up to in my own relationship with Johnathan. Maybe around 2080 or so, we'll be celebrating the same thing.

Here are a few more pictures from the festivities:

Grandma and Bampa reading a card from Johnathan and me.

Alivia showing off her pretty dress by rolling around on the floor in it.

My second cousin, Lindsey.

My Aunt Linda.

Alivia showing Great-Grandma her See 'n Say.

Telling Bampa a story.

My great-uncle, Jack and Uncle Ed.



Aunt Linda and great-aunt, Joyce.

Anniversary cards and flowers.

Things To Look Forward To:

• A much overdue haircut this Friday with my old stylist who changed salons, prompting me to try somebody new who I did not like. On top of that, it turns out her new salon is way closer to my apartment.
• Taking a personal day off work next Friday to spend with Erin, Alivia and other family on my dad's side, followed by a 70th anniversary celebration for my grandparents on Saturday.
• A trip to the spa with Johnathan's mom and sister on the 30th, that we finally (almost a year after we gave them the gift certificates, which are dangerously close to expiring) managed to schedule today.
• Planning a ski trip for the spring with Erin. It was just an idea, but it looks like it's really going to happen!

Today is a good "taking care of me" day.

Cake Balls

I first heard about cake balls a few months ago. They are basically just cake that is mashed up and mixed in with icing, which you then form in balls and coat with chocolate or bark. Sounds like they'd be delicious! When The Pioneer Woman posted about them for Halloween I decided it was time to see what all the fuss was about. Last week, my cousin Holli and I tried them out and here are the results:

We used red velvet cake mix from a box. It helped me solidify the opinion that when it comes to red velvet, if it isn't from scratch, it just isn't worth it. But we were spoiled because our grandma made THE BEST red velvet cake. She was famous for it...at least at church, which counts in my book.

Again, we cheated by using canned cream cheese frosting and again, I think it would have been so much better if we'd made it ourselves or just gone with a different flavor combination. I didn't read the ingredient list, but I'm pretty sure there is neither cream cheese, nor cream cheese flavor in the icing we used.

Forming the balls is messy business. It was getting late and Holli was hopped up on Vicodin for a lung infection she is recovering from. We found a joke about being "caught red-handed" entirely too funny.

I neglected to take any pictures of the coating process - mostly because my hands were covered in vanilla bark and it's a time sensitive business.

Final verdict? They were pretty good. As I've said, I think they would have been better in a different flavor combination or if we'd had the time and desire to make them from scratch. If an occasion arises again where cake balls are appropriate, I am willing to give them another try. If nothing else, it's fun to spend an evening getting messy and consuming sugar.

The Great Somnambulist!

I have had sleep issues my whole life. When I was little, my parents suspected I had narcolepsy- once I was tired, I would fall asleep instantly even if I was in the middle of doing something else. When I was maybe five or six, I fell asleep on the toilet in the middle of the day. My mom has a picture of me at around four sleeping in Bampa's (my grandfather) recliner with a half-eaten popsicle hanging from my mouth. (I've always appreciated that they took time to grab the camera before removing the cold, melting food from my face.) Today I have a little more control over when and where I fall asleep, but most of my friends know that if we watch a movie past 8:00 at night, I will not be conscious at the end of it. I fall asleep in the car, in movie theaters, at concerts, even at work a few times when I was on the 6PM to 6AM shift.

I've also long had the problem of talking and walking in my sleep. According to those who have witnessed it, I sometimes babble on and on in a totally incoherent language, I sometimes answer questions with nonsensical, off-the-wall responses and I sometimes carry on full, coherent conversations, with absolutely no recollection. I've talked to my dad on the phone more than once without ever really waking up. The scenario is generally that somebody believes they have woken me and are talking to me normally, while I remain unconscious, but look and act as if I'm awake. I am also usually very agitated during these exchanges, which I've read is common for people who experience it.

One weekend a couple of years ago, I spent a night out at Johnathan's parents' house. They had gone to bed and he and I were watching TV on the couch when I, of course, dozed off. He roused me and suggested that I head to the guest room, since I obviously wasn't enjoying the show. God knows what I said to him, but apparently I was very hostile before ultimately going to bed as he wanted. The next morning he was acting noticeably aggravated, so I asked him what the heck was wrong with him. He told me he just couldn't figure out what he had done to make me act so mean to him the night before and he was hurt by the way I treated him. I assured him I had no idea what he was talking about and that is how he came to learn of my little sleep quirk.

Living alone for the past 3 1/2 years, I usually have no idea if I'm talking or walking around at night. All I can do is go to sleep and hope that I don't leave the apartment, burn it down or offend anybody unconsciously. However, there are times when I leave evidence of my nighttime adventures. When it happens, it usually occurs several nights in a row and I will wake up to something obviously different than the way I left it the night before.

This morning when I was about to get in the shower I reached up to take off the necklace I always wear, only to find that it was not around my neck. I knew I hadn't taken it off, so it had to have broken and I was terrified searching the house. Finally, as I was on the verge of calling my cousin Holli to ask if it had come off at her place last night, I found it in my purse along with a bra and a dog toy. It just so happens that is the exact place I found nail polish, polish remover, nail file and cotton pads a couple of mornings ago.

These Times

The dreaded 'L word' came through my office today. That one that is probably at least in the backs of the minds of most Americans right now...Layoff. The thing is, I wasn't worried about it at all. I know people who know people who have been laid off in the past few weeks or months and I feel bad for them, but it was one of those yeah, but it can't happen to me type of things.

Well, now it feels like it can happen to me. Seven employees from our corporate office in California and regional office in Colorado lost their jobs last week and two more yesterday. My Big Boss (highest ranking person that I work with directly) sat down with me and a couple of other people in my region to assure us, so that we can pass that assurance on to our coworkers. Unfortunately, I came out of it way more concerned than I had been, especially since I didn't even know about the layoffs before she told me.

My job is probably safe. Let me just put that out there. Basically, one of three things could happen. The most likely is that the company will pull through just fine and I'll keep my job and hopefully move up, in time. There is also a good chance that the company will pull through, but there will be more layoffs before things start looking up. If that is the case, I have the benefit of working in the most successful region in the whole company, having a reputation for being very good at my job and not having a job that would easily be considered fluff. However, if cutbacks have to be made in my region, my position my be on the short list of those to eliminate. Even if that happened, though, I've been assured that they'd try to find me another position within the company, but it might mean relocating. The least likely, but possible situation is that the company will fold all together or sell off this region, either of which would mean somebody else taking over. If that is the case, they will likely keep a lot of the on-site staff, but I doubt there would be a position for me.

There are a lot of "ifs" and I'm really not thinking I'll be losing my job any time soon. But the possibility is much more in my consciousness than it was a day ago. I'm one of the lucky ones who has enough of a support network that even if I were to be out of work for a while, I would not likely go under. Many, many people (my own coworkers) have not been so lucky during this hard time and I am really feeling for them today.

Mysterious ways, right?

After my cruddy day at work yesterday, I was not really looking forward to the meeting I had committed to attending at church last night. We have a program, in partnership with another local congregation, called LoveWorks that aims to support and nourish children of incarcerated parents. The main function of the program is that people can volunteer to mentor a child with one or both parents in prison through Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS). When I found out about it, I knew that this was the perfect opportunity for me to serve my church and my community.

I got my application in to BBBS just this week and the woman from church who organizes it asked me if I'd like to come to a mentors meeting last night to learn more about what they do. It was a wonderful meeting. Both heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time. Everybody went around and gave an update of how their 'Little' is doing. Most of the mentors have been doing it since the program started, so they have had the same Little for the past five or six years- seeing and talking to these now high school teenagers at least three times a month since they were just in elementary school. Some of the kids are blossoming and thriving. Then there were others who are struggling - family is having financial problems, getting involved in gang activity, clinical depression - so we discussed how their Big could help them through whatever they are dealing with, what resources there are, etc.

I had no idea how involved you really get in these kid's lives by taking on the responsibility. You get to know their friends and family. Some people go to the school when there is a removal hearing to suspend the child, call the guidance counselor to talk about what the kid needs to do to graduate on time, attend choir concerts alongside the parents or grandparents to show love and support. It is a much heavier responsibility than I was imagining and there are many more challenges.

Frankly, I was a little scared. Would I know what to do if my Little told me she was going to join a gang? What if he was suicidal? Can I be of comfort and help if her mother is getting beat up by her boyfriend? What would I say to him if his father were executed? These are all things that the people in that room have had to face with the child they are mentoring. Luckily, there is a lot of support from the LoveWorks community. There are training seminars; all of the mentors support and help each other; there is an advisory board that volunteers can go to with questions about school issues, emotional issues, etc.

I know that it will be a challenging learning experience, but I think the reward will be huge! I cannot wait to actually get my match and begin to get to know a special little girl or boy.

********

As I was driving home from meeting last night, I was thinking to myself how nice it would be to get home and curl up in my warm bed and read for a bit before going to sleep. Then I thought of something I wanted to remember to look up online first when I got home. Of course, I quickly remembered I no longer have a computer at home and it suddenly hit me:

I have been thinking recently about my computer habits. I spend eight hours a day on the computer at work and then come home and can still entertain myself for a long time with the vastness of the Internet. I definitely take advantage of it for mindless entertainment and time passing. There are lots of other things I like to do in my free time - read books, talk to actual people in real life, take my dog to the park or on walks, leave my apartment - but I'm lazy by nature so I easily succumb to the temptation of spending way too much time on the computer instead.

This is not quality time and when I die, I am not going to regret that I didn't see as many Lolcats as I could have. On the other hand, I often feel guilt or regret when I find myself surfing rather than doing something more meaningful. I was actually thinking last week that it would be very good for me to take a week-long fast from the computer at home. I have to use it at work and even have time during the work day to keep up with plenty of my personal stuff, so I really felt I should see what good it might do me to ban it at home for a bit. I was going to do it this week.

Of course by the time Sunday or Monday had rolled around, I had given myself some really good excuse (which I cannot even remember now) for why this was not a good week to do that. I think somebody else had a different idea in mind and took a really drastic approach to making me live up to my vow. God sure has a wicked sense of humor.

Warning: Really Long Whine Fest Ahead

What a day this has been! I have been in a bit of a funk lately and finally I felt like I was coming out of it. Yesterday was a really good day. I accomplished some of the things I'd been putting off; I got in a decent workout; I had a really good time with my dad. By 8:00 I had settled down on the couch to watch the debate. After that, things started going back down hill fast.

It has nothing to do with the debate itself, I'm trying really hard not to go into politics on here. The problem began with the fact that I had to watch it on my laptop. I don't have cable and only get TV reception for the local Fox station, which was showing baseball. Luckily, a couple of networks were streaming it live, so I tuned into CBS and was all set. My laptop has been acting a bit wonky lately. I've been having lots of pop-ups, even with the blockers on, but scans for viruses were clear and having it checked out by a professional is just another one of those things I've been putting off. I was watching on full screen and as the debate was winding down found that I was not able to go back to normal or close the screen. After trying all of the tricks I know, to no avail, I finally just had to force it to turn off. When I turned it back on, I got a Fatal System Error message. Yup. My [less than two year old] laptop has totally crashed. I don't know if I actually had a bug or what, but I only pray that my warranty will cover it. Thanks to ever responsible Johnathan for making me buy the extended plan.

Fast-forward to this morning. I get up, planning on a trip to the apartment fitness center before work. Thankfully I had cause to run the sink before I left, because I had no water pressure - just a tiny trickle. Apparently a main has burst, so it had to be shut off. What a stinky mess I would have been! Instead I was able to crawl back into bed for a little while longer and come to work only moderately musty.

Work has been stressful "lately." By "lately," I mean the last 9 months or so. My company is having issues. Since we were getting so many calls to various offices from different people about the problems, it was decided that things would be "easier" if everybody directed those complaint calls to me. By "easier," I mean for everybody but me. So, I get anywhere from two to two dozen calls a day from people who hate my company and hate me by association, because they feel like they are getting screwed over by all of us. Honestly, I don't blame them, which I think makes it even more horrible having to deal with them all the time and make excuses and try to convince them hold off further action. The people in charge keep telling us "things should all be sorted out in [insert time frame]" or "it'll be taken care of by [random date]" or "we'll know something definite on [pick a day]." So I keep getting hope, only to have that time come and nothing has been rectified. Today was one of those days. We were supposed to have definite dates for all of this to be fixed by the end of this week. As of this morning, the new "we'll know something" date is October 28th.

Note: I really love the people that I work with, including my bosses. I have a lot of faith that this company will pull through the mess it is in and become something great and I look forward to being a part of it when that day comes. If I didn't really believe in it, I wouldn't still be here.

When I'm at work I keep my personal email account up, as well as my work email and various other work and non-work sites. This morning I had a message in my personal email from a Facebook friend with a video. "Cool" I thought. *click* I'm redirected to what appears to be a video hosting site and told that my Flash Player is not up-to-date. Not surprising, since most of the stuff on this computer is not the latest version, so I click to get the update. It never did load, and I started to question the whole thing, so I gave up. Then somebody else tells me that they had gotten some weird Facebook message from me about a video, but it was poorly spelled, so they knew it couldn't be me (ha!). Apparently lots of people have been hacked/spammed. And now my work computer is acting funny- super.

I shut down all Internet while I try to make sure that everything is clear of viruses and such. Then I get a call from another office that an email has gone out to the whole company saying that a bunch of reports that were due yesterday (many of them from my area and my responsibility) were not received. It always sucks to get called out in front of others, much less the whole company, but the real kicker is that I did turn in the reports yesterday. I was able to forward the original email that had them, so I could prove to the person requesting them that I'd done it, but it doesn't take back that everybody thinks I didn't. It's been a busier than usual day anyway, and I just have all this extra stuff on top of it. Oh, and, just now this minute my printer/scanner/copier started making a clicking noise that cannot possibly be good.

If I might make a point in all of this complaining it is this: I definitely believe that God tests us. There are always going to be hard times and it frequently seems like all of the bad happens at once. But, good times will undoubtedly follow. I think both of them are tests. The point is not how much things are or are not going your way, but what you do with the hand you are dealt. I'd like to say I'm not responsible for all of the cruddy things that have happened in the past 24-hours, but I also have to admit that I'm not responsible when things are going well either. That's just how life is. I have to try to deal with both the good and the bad as humbly and faithfully as I can. No one day (or week or year) is going to make or break me. Only the persistence of my faith can do that.